Thursday, February 09, 2006

Black History Month

I could sit here myself and make an angry sarcastic post. But, since the ADI has already done that. You could just go over and read his Here.

Flags:

Mcdonalds
Ebonics
Public Aid
Katrina
Tax Money
New Orleans
Jazz
Social Issues

I said go READ IT! What are you still doing here?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

This Has Been a Paid Advertisment By...

Walking billboards...Thats what the whole lot of us have turned into. Before, I got into this, let me just say this: I am a fan of name brand clothes. So, although I'm going into a rant about this, be aware that I am aware of the fact that I've been sucked into it like the rest of you. But, this is what we are: Walking Billboards. The best part about it is that we pay them to advertise their products. "Here you are Hollister, let me pay you 50 bucks to wear this shirt with your name across the front."
"Mr. Hilfiger, here's 75 bucks to wear jeans with your name across my ass." When you think about it, it's actually a great device employed by the companies. It's almost as if we need to convince them that we're worthy of wearing their clothes. When they should be trying to convince us to wear them. Actually, this gives me a great idea. I'm going to make up some shirts that say "Marvin is Awesome!" and "Marvin S.: Better Than You Since 1984" and sell them for about 30 bucks a pop. I mean, you'll buy them, right? You enjoy wearing other people's names and paying them for it, correct? I know I do.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Looks like the Louisiana Saints couldnt hold it up today against Hurricane Katrina today, Jim...

You know what bother's the hell out of me? People who let the outcomes of sports game determine their entire disposition for the day. As if the outcome of the Chicago Bears game really has any meaningful effect on their lives. How could you get so worked over a sports team that a stupid lil loss can turn any normally cheery day into the worst day of your life? I will admit that sports are entertaining to watch, yes. But, I refuse to become so utterly and brainlessly connected to the team that their loss is an assurable way to bring me down for the day. It's not as if you will be reaping any of the monetary award that comes along with great performance. In fact, it's your money thats paying them. Well, I guess, you could consider it an investment that produces no return whether your "stock" does well or not. Whatever, I think it's dumb. I'm tired of attempts being made to make me feel bad because the sports team of the city from which I'm from doesnt beat someone's else's hometown team. However, it is slightly rewarding to see the disappointment people feel when I casually brush off their comments of last night's game. How about this? Let's go find something meaningful to invest our emotions in...maybe politics or humanitarianism...how is it you get so worked up over the Saint's losing when their stadium is now residence to so many homeless? You people suck. Get real lives...

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Thuggin' in the Suburbs...

I've recently come to the conclusion that stupidity transcends all genders and races. Therefore the Angry Token Black Guy is no longer on a crusade against stupidity in white people, but against stupidity in anyone.

I was watchin' Yahoo Launch Music Videos and I ran across this video "Suburb Thuggin'" by this group El Pus. It's awesome. It starts off with these two "wiggers" (white boys who try to act all ghetto and thuggish) getting all hyped up about El Pus coming to perform at their party. El Pus is this black group, who unbeknownst to the wiggers, are a rock band. When El Pus get on stage and start rocking out, the wiggers stand there with the most dumbfounded look on their face. On top of this, I like the lyrics to the song, too. With lyrics like "You runnin' round talkin' bout you think you gangsta 'Cause you heard somebody rap in a song?" and " You ain't never really seen no gangsta shit 'Cause if you did, you would piss on yourself... Bumpin' too much 2Pac, thinkin' you a rider In reality you're playin' yourself". El Pus definitely lets these wiggers have it. The lyrics can be found here.

This brings me to my point of the day: One of the most annoying things on the planet are posers. Last night, I was hanging out at a buddy of mine's place (this buddy of mine being the Angry Drunken Irishman) having some beers and watching Jackie Chan kick major ass. While we were watching the movie, a friend of ours comes to his suite to ask if we have cards, she acquires them and then heads back out after a short conversation about how she's entertaining friends and such. About 20 mins later, we hear them in the hall and stick our head out to say hi. We look into the hallway and see a walking Abercrombie advertisement. Adorned in full abercrombie polos and cargo shorts are the males and the typical low cut/high rise tops held on by strings and short skirts for the ladies. But, both I and the AngryDrunkenIrishman hold our tongue about this. It was when the token retarded asian girl of the group started to speak that I forgot my manners. I dont remember exactly what she said to me initially, but I do recall that it had something to do with using the word "yo" at which point, I started yelling, "oh so now youve related to me, huh? Do you really think that by using the word 'yo' that you can relate to me and we can be friends?" at which point she responded by saying "I'm a minority, too. I understand." (yes, of course youre a minority, you and all 2 billion of your kind) and when I refused to accept her "understanding" she uttered a "whatevs" and I realized that this was not her fault. I realized that the problem was that she merely had no brain of her own and had to resort to complete assimilation into any and all cultures that she could find to try and fit in. I realized that she had such a meaningless existence that the only way she could feel self-worth was to try and fit in as much as possible and as such resorted to such idiocies as saying things like "yo" and "whatevs". (yes, I realize this is a lot of conjecturing to be had from two simple phrases, but I was drunk and i get philosophical when I'm drunk.) So, I forgave the product of assimilation for her trespasses and retired back into the suite for more beer and Jackie Chan.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Pay attention to this shizzle...

White People,

Piece of Advice #1:

Stop trying to talk like Snoop Dogg. Better yet, Stop trying to speak ebonics in general. You sound dumb trying to imitate it. Hell, most black people dont even know how to reproduce the vernecular of the Doggy one, therefore you shouldn't try either. Please stop going around saying "for shizzle my nizzle". Please stop trying to turn ordinary words such as "library" into "izzims". It doesnt work. Again, you appear very stupid. If I hear one more sentence like "Imizz Goizzing tizzle the Librizzlery", I'm very likely to beat and maim the person uttering it.

Piece of Advice #2:

Stop asking if you can say the word ni&&a. No, you cant. You had your chance with the word. We allowed it once, you abused it. We're taking it. No means no. End of story.

Piece of Advice #3:

When I tell you I'm from Detroit, stop asking me about 8 Mile and all that is related to 8 Mile. (Actually, I've gotten this one from a couple of black people, too.) Yes, 8 Mile is real. No, 8 Mile is not like they show it in the movie. 8 Mile is much better looking and better developed than they portrayed in the movie. No, I dont know Eminem. I dont know where he lived. Ive never met him. We're not cousins. I have been on 8 Mile, I've lived near it, I travelled it a greater part of my senior year in high school to get back and forth between work and home. That is the extent of my relation to the movie and all thats in it.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

The Inaugural Post

Welcome to the first post of the Angry Token Black Guy...

I've spent the last three years of my life at a private college in small town, usa. Because of this, I have spent quite some time with members of the majority population. In many of these encounters, I find myself looking at members of the portion of the population and thinking "what the hell?" So, I decided to share my rants, raves, and thoughts on their behaviors. Stay tuned to be pissed off and upset.