Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Pay attention to this shizzle...

White People,

Piece of Advice #1:

Stop trying to talk like Snoop Dogg. Better yet, Stop trying to speak ebonics in general. You sound dumb trying to imitate it. Hell, most black people dont even know how to reproduce the vernecular of the Doggy one, therefore you shouldn't try either. Please stop going around saying "for shizzle my nizzle". Please stop trying to turn ordinary words such as "library" into "izzims". It doesnt work. Again, you appear very stupid. If I hear one more sentence like "Imizz Goizzing tizzle the Librizzlery", I'm very likely to beat and maim the person uttering it.

Piece of Advice #2:

Stop asking if you can say the word ni&&a. No, you cant. You had your chance with the word. We allowed it once, you abused it. We're taking it. No means no. End of story.

Piece of Advice #3:

When I tell you I'm from Detroit, stop asking me about 8 Mile and all that is related to 8 Mile. (Actually, I've gotten this one from a couple of black people, too.) Yes, 8 Mile is real. No, 8 Mile is not like they show it in the movie. 8 Mile is much better looking and better developed than they portrayed in the movie. No, I dont know Eminem. I dont know where he lived. Ive never met him. We're not cousins. I have been on 8 Mile, I've lived near it, I travelled it a greater part of my senior year in high school to get back and forth between work and home. That is the extent of my relation to the movie and all thats in it.

3 Comments:

Blogger Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

I'll happily join you in the beating of white people who use "izzims", if you join me in mercilessly ridiculing black people who say they were "racially persecuted" because they got fired for smoking pot on duty at a bank. Both sets of people lower the bar for their own ethnic backgrounds.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Eric said...

Stop asking if you can say the word ni&&a. No, you cant. You had your chance with the word. We allowed it once, you abused it. We're taking it. No means no. End of story.

From a white guy who thinks noone should be using the word ni&&a, could you please expound more on the above?

12:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

listen bro, you shouldn't be saying "ni&&a" either. if you think it makes you look intelligent well you are way off.

8:53 AM  

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